It is essential for a child to build a bond with his parents. Over time, he will seek stability and security from those who raise him. However, it is possible that various factors, such as a breakup, a hospital stay, or even a move, can disrupt the child’s emotional construct. As a result, he may develop a more or less significant attachment disorder, divided into three modes: Velcro, solo or sumo. This difficulty will be considered pathological when solutions are presented for it, but no improvement is noted. As for the sumo kid, how does he behave?
How do you recognize a sumo child?
A sumo child is considered an all-round worrier. In other words, he is looking for a relationship as much as he is rejecting it. This attachment disorder arises after a major disappointment in the life of the child, who, for fear of new ruptures, will become angry, excessive and constantly tested. As Home and Solidarity, a family placement service, explains in its memo: “this child tries to control people, objects, animals”. What he wants is to make his world as safe as possible. Therefore, he prefers to take the lead and have the upper hand over others, a way of not leaving a chance for the unexpected. The sumo child is suspicious, very difficult to understand and control. His attitude is often the result of bad behavior towards him: he dreams of receiving love, but is too afraid of being disappointed again.
How can I help a sumo child relieve his anxiety?
Whether biological or adoptive parents, it is very difficult to deal with a sumo child. You need to regularly show patience and kindness, while knowing how to stand firm when the little creature in front of you clearly oversteps the boundaries. The best advice is to stay alert to his desires and try to read between the lines when he experiences a sometimes disproportionate crisis. A sumo child needs to be reassured, but also calmed down. Remind him that he can trust you, that he is free to confide on the topics of his choice, from the least important to the most important issues in his life, but also that you will always love him. Do not hesitate to do relaxation exercises next to him, whether drawing or meditation. If he doesn’t necessarily express gratitude, these will be comforting moments for him to share with you. In case of problems, it is advisable to seek help from a specialist.